Is It Gossip or Venting?

I had several people ask me question from my last post. They were wondering what the difference is between gossiping and venting. Basically gossip serves no purpose other than to cause harm. We all have been guilty of gossip. Everyone has done it. Bottom line is words have wonderful power and gossip is a misuse of that power.

I believe that when we make a choice to gossip we are coming from our ego selves. More than likely it is because we are doing it to judge or at least get a reaction. We gossip to make us feel good or to try to turn others against someone. We want people to see someone the way we see them. We try to change people’s minds with gossip and hope they judge others.

Is there a difference between gossiping and venting? Of course there is. I enjoy a good vent. I trust a closed mouth friend, let them know I am venting and I say, “This is not to gossip, I need to talk and perhaps get some direction or feedback.” I try to talk without disrupting the other person’s reputation. I do not put the person down, and on most occasions, I tell the other person I talked about them to other person for insight or just needed to vent. Most spiritual people get it and thank me for telling them.

How do I know if it is venting or gossiping? The first thing I do is look at the person who is talking to me. Is this a pattern? Are they cutting someone down with intent or are they showing concern?  I then try to listen for the focus of the conversation if any of it involves “putting the person down” they are not venting, they are gossiping.

It may be confusing, try to remember that venting is talking about someone with the sincere hopes a finding positive solution while gossiping focus on the other person with intent to cause a negative reaction about the person.

Another question I get asked often is why do people gossip. The answer is simple. Gossip is weapons of mass distraction. People who need to gossip and say things about another person are not walking a spiritual path and are frightened to look at their own selves. These people often tend to have a public outlook that they are healthy and kind and loving, however, deep inside, they are afraid to look at their own self because they are frightened as to what they may find. People who gossip really need to make others look bad so they look good.

It is okay to vent. Share with a closed mouth friend what frustrates you and look for a positive solution. Friendship should be treated with respect and wanting to find positive solutions show you what kind of friend you really are. If someone does gossip about you, tried to tell others that you are such and such way in hopes others will side with you, that is gossip and time to get some counseling and try to connect with yourself and your self-esteem.

If you are in the path of someone who gossips, remember, your friendship circle more than likely has positive people in it and most your friends will not judge you and might even suggest to the gossiper to spend time looking at their own needs rather than others. Most important, do not let gossip anger you. Send the person gossiping lots of energy love and light because they lack it in their life. Perhaps through your actions, you might be able to help the person redirect their need to use hate and anger towards others. Make sure people know there is no room in your heart for gossip but plenty room for venting.