Kill Them With Kindness

Many years ago I recall me and my partner driving down the street. There was road construction and they had all traffic merging into one lane. As we merged, a woman drove her car almost into the side of our car on purpose. I unrolled my window, looked at her car touching our car and asked if there was a problem. I told her we were taking our turns merging like everyone else. I could tell how angry she was. I recall looking at her and said are you having a good day? She growled at me and said, “I was until you pulled in front of me.” I smiled at her and said, “Well if traffic is going to ruin your day, this is not about me.” I looked at her and suggested once we got through the light to go have a cup of chamomile tea at the coffee shop past the light and even offered to pay for it. She did not know what to do with my sincere kindness so she flipped me off and rolled up her window. I just smiled and rolled up mine.

I am no different than other people. I have moments of anger and act out like I shouldn’t. However, when push comes to shove, I always try to revert back to being kind. I can’t help but think it is the adult thing to do. Yet another story on kindness is currently there are a few people who have been trying to be hurtful to me and even bullying me. One of them made a long list of false allegations against me, and when I decided to use kindness instead of hate and anger, they went out to recruit other people to try to bully me even more. I responded the same way with this person as well as their recruits, with love and kindness.

The more kindness I gave these people, the harder they fought. Kindness, love, and compassion to them was like someone spilling water on the wicked witch of Oz. They reacted with more anger, more allegations and more hatred. All I could do was continue to offer them kindness, compassion, love, support, prayers and send them joy. To angry people, that does not go far. I began thinking, was it wrong to use kindness? Was it possible you really can kill someone with kindness?

The first thing I did was ask myself, what do I get in return from being kind instead of hateful like them? After meditation on this question I thought it certainly helps keep me calm and focused. It allows me to act like the adult I really am. It made me realize that negatives thoughts had less traction in my mind if I used kindness rather than being awful and mean. I had an understanding that kindness was calming.

What I began to really understand was that by being kind, it took away their power over me. I was the one who felt in charge and did not have to use hate, rudeness, threats, shame, or blame. I felt good offering these bullies of sorts the ability to learn kindness or the ability to move forward with love. It is important to note that kindness will not change their behavior, it will change YOUR behavior.

I think too often, we underestimate the power of love and kindness. If a person makes a mistake or unintentionally hurts someone, kindness will move mountains and it allows people to begin open dialog and heal. Kindness broadens our perspective. It makes us pay attention to things around us. It also offers us the ability to learn more compassion for ourselves as well as others.

Kindness can be contagious. 

Of course, that is not always the case such as the people who are teaming up to try to bully me. However, if people are healthy and understand kindness, then when they see kindness, they react with kindness. Buddha believes that it is through the great kindness of all living beings that we have the opportunity to live better and more peacefully. If family and friends so choose, they too can follow kindness and attempt to make world a more peaceful place.

When people who suffer have to react with hatred and meanness, all you can do is offer them kindness and hope they learn eventually that acts of kindness are better than acts of suffering. I like to have mantra about kindness such as “I am kindness, I cherish kindness.” This helps me maintain an open heart and try to react with kindness to the best of my ability.

So can you kill people with kindness? Of course not, but you can use kindness as an act of love to yourself and others and tamper people who make choices to be mean. As some people I know are trying to create an army of hate towards me, I am working on creating a landscape of love for them. When push comes to shove, all we have is kindness.

Letting People be Heard

Letting people be heard is the act of love and peace. It is giving ourselves to another person. It is saying we are honoring your ability to speak out what you need to speak out. Understanding what people have to say is more important to them than we will ever realize. Allowing people to vent is vital for their growth. If they are harboring feelings of self-guilt and shame, pity or resentment, they need to be heard. It is an instrument of healing. Being able to participate in it is an act of love.

Not too long ago I was the most fortunate recipient of someone whom I love dearly become very angry and decided to make horrible accusations against me. I say fortunate, because I was able to use this as one of the greatest learning tools that I have encountered in quite a while. As I read their anger, I became angry at first because their accusations were so far-fetched, it was obvious this person was dealing with their own internal suffering. As I read it a second time, and third time, I understood fully this was something they needed to get out. This would help them perhaps heal the inner demons and the illusion of the things that haunt them or bother them.

At first I reacted. Then after a day or two, I fully understood their attachment to their anger and that is caused them great suffering. When we suffer, we will attack people because it is easier to do that, then deal with your illusions. Most of what they said was based on their emotions, and no truth. Their emotions made them a prisoner of ill illusions and ill feelings towards people who love them.

Still, I read their letter, and loved them. They rejected the love, held onto their illusions, and chose suffering over compassion or understanding. That is their path to walk, and the important factor here to remember is that we allow people to be heard. Truth or illusion, they need to be heard.

With that in mind, it is important to remember that when people come from suffering due to illusions, it does not mean they are a bad person. It means they suffer. So when someone is going ballistic on you because of their own suffering, it is vital to listen, and not to take it to heart. Listen as the person is expressing themselves, even if it is insanity aka, continuing to choose the illusion over non suffering.

So be that person who is willing to listen (and or read) they chose you to hear them. What is crucial, is to make sure you protect yourself and your energy. Stand the higher ground so their suffering does not cause you suffering. You can send them compassion and love. To them, your love may be an illusion because they are so unable to accept love from you. They may want to remain attached and hold onto the illusions that make them remain in a state of anger.

Since one of the Buddhist meditations on compassion emphasizes how we are completely dependent on the kindness of all beings, it is important to send people like this daily compassion and love, and move forward. You do not have to participate in their anger or illusions or emotions. Just allow them to be heard, get it off their chest, and then wish them peace and continued success in hoping they find their own happiness.

Gratitude Equals Positive Attitude

The field of positive psychology has established a link between gratitude and good physical and mental health. Grateful people sleep better than extremely driven people. People with gratitude often take time to eat with their family rather than working late.

They put their family and self-first before a job. They tend to prepare their food more often than eating out. They value recreation and fitness. Yes, these are the traits that coincide with gratitude contribute to physical and mental health, a stronger immune system, and fewer diseases and by far on less medication.

People with a healthy sense of well-being have more self-confidence and friends. Studies show that social ties make people physically and mentally healthy and happier. Basically, it pays to be thankful for one’s life and accomplishments. When someone is always striving for something bigger, better, or always complaining and feeling victimized by something, people end up being less productive than pausing to give thanks for what is here now.

When you look at it as a whole, gratitude is like a cleansing agent for the soul. If we are grateful, then we move to what we want to do not what we have to do. Gratitude helps that glass from being half empty and makes it half full. More importantly, gratitude can help us to take focus away from self and personal needs and help us look at what we have been given and what we can offer others. It makes us realize that rather than living a life filled with stress, anxiety, and being unhappy, and teaches us that life is good and we are good.

So the best tip for holistic mental health is to use positive psychology and have an attitude of gratitude. It doesn’t come in a bottle, but I guarantee you, it works much faster than medication!

Black Sheep Free Spirited People

I sit with people daily and many say they are the black sheep and that is their problem. I say really and tell them that I am the black sheep of the family and that it just means I am the free spirited one of the family and that I did not follow the pack. Being the black sheep in my family means I get to help others come to terms that most black sheep’s of the family are true free spirited creative people.

I realize that the role we played as children and young adults in our families can contribute to our present feelings of self of self-worth, feelings of social approval, as well as our psychological and emotional well-being. I also realize throughout my studies of people and families that in most families, there is at least one creative, sensitive, spiritual person who does not share the same values and life style as well as decisions and beliefs of the other family members.

Do not get discouraged, have anxiety or become depressed if you are that person. Take pride in it.  Most times, the family black sheep tends to be the most honest about who they are and what they stand for. We are people who are not afraid to stand up and speak out how we feel even at the risk of the judgment of others from the family. We black sheep’s should proudly stand and cope with the family ridicule before we compromise our beliefs or how we feel. We are living our personal truth openly and willfully.

Though sometimes, it can be difficult to be the black sheep and the family outcast, it is important to not change who you are to please the family. Speak your truth. They may try to shut you down, however, never let that stop you. You see, you need to come to terms that the things you were taught to say and do to create your life canvas was colored by your families feelings and beliefs and the black sheep is creative enough to add more variety of shades and colors. So speak out and speak up and walk the path of being who you are!

Do not allow being the black sheep of your family rob you of your self-esteem and the ability to believe in who you really are. Take pride in being noticeably different. Know you have the courage to speak your own truth even when family feels they can shut you off. Remember, your voice, your heart and your spirit belong to you. The black sheep creates their own sense of freedom and are true free spirited people.

Foods With L Tyrosine

L-tyrosine is known as a non-essential amino acid which means that the body can produce it naturally. According to author of the Healing Nutrients Within book Eric R. Braverman. This amino acid can be helpful for improving conditions such as addictions and act like an antidepressant. It can also aid in the fight against pain as well as help tone muscles and skin. L-tyrosine is essential to the structure of proteins within the body. In addition its components are precursor to certain neurotransmitters such as dopamine and norepinephrine. This important amino acid can be found in a variety of foods.

Meats

There are a variety of meat sources that have L- Tyrosine in them. Foods that are rich in proteins can include lean beef as well as lean cuts of pork which could include a pork roast, or pork loin.  Poultry can include chicken and turkey although sources of wild game such as quail, duck and ostrich have high levels of Tyrosine as well.  Most fish have high levels including orange roughy, tuna, shrimp, and cod. Other meats can include lean cuts of lamb and veal.

Dairy

Dairy products can contain good levels of L- tyrosine. These foods can include egg whites, cottage cheese, white cheeses such as provolone, mozzarella, and Parmesan. Milk is also a source of L- tyrosine. Because soy products contain a high source of this amino acid, soy milk can be beneficial as well.

Fruits and Vegetables

Seaweed has one of the highest levels of L-tyrosine. Green foods such as spinach, mustard greens, pumpkin leafs all have health amounts of tyrosine. Avocado and banana are a tasty way to get in a boost of tyrosine.

Nuts, Seeds, Beans and Grains

Whole grains such as wheat and oats are a good source of tyrosine. Kidney and lima beans are a nice source as is the soy bean and tofu. Nuts such as almonds and seeds such as sesame seeds and pumpkin seeds are another good source of this non-essential amino acid. 

Food Containing Serotonin

Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that affects the central nervous system. It is responsible for well being and calmness. Low levels of serotonin can have an impact on sleep, appetite, and mood. A deficiency of serotonin can be associated to mental-health issues such as depression, anxiety, anger, and bipolar disorder. Many people can take medications to increase their serotonin; however, there are certain foods that can boost your serotonin levels.

Tryptophan and Tyrosine Foods

Tryptophan is an amino acid that converts to serotonin, and the body cannot produce it; therefore, we need to obtain it through from the foods we eat. Foods high in proteins such as poultry and lean meats, milk, eggs, cheese, flaxseed, and nuts have generous amounts of tryptophan and several servings should be eaten daily. Tyrosine is an amino acid that supports neurotransmitters in the brain. It is a precursor of dopamine, adrenaline, and epinephrine. Foods rich in tyrosine include egg whites, seaweed, soy products, poultry, peanuts, almonds, avocados, bananas, and cheese.

B Vitamin Foods

The B vitamins are important for brain development and the manufacturing of neurotransmitters including serotonin. Foods that contain vitamin B1 (thiamine) include whole-grain cereals and breads, lean red meat, egg yolks, and green leafy vegetables. B2 (riboflavin) can be found in meats and dairy as well as peas. B6 (pyridoxine) foods include buckwheat, spinach, bell peppers, bananas, poultry and fish. Folic acid is a B vitamin used by the body to make serotonin. Some foods that have folic acid include broccoli, spinach, strawberries, lentils, chickpeas, melons, and asparagus. By incorporating these foods into your diet, you can increase your serotonin production.

Carbohydrate Foods
Carbohydrates can stimulate serotonin; therefore, eating low-glycemic carbohydrates can increase serotonin. These foods can include brown rice, buckwheat, whole-grains, sweet potato, wheat pastas, and whole-grain cereals.

Essential Fatty Acids Foods
Essential fatty acids are needed for serotonin production. Foods high in omega fatty acids include fatty fish like salmon, sardines, and herring, walnuts and almonds, dark green leafy vegetables, soybean, olive and flaxseed oil, lean meats.

There are many foods that contain serotonin. Be sure to use the food pyramid to determine the correct amount of proteins and grains you should eat in your daily diet. Some nutritionists suggest that people eat a lunch that is rich in tryptophan, and then eat a carb/grain meal in the evening. By following this model people will be less likely to overeat and serotonin levels will more than likely rise.  

Alternative Medicines for Type-2 Diabetes Treatment

In the United States there are currently over 23 million people with diabetes according to the American Diabetes Association. Type-2 diabetes is the most common form of this disease. Type-2 diabetes means your body doesn’t seem to make enough insulin. There are medications people can take to manage this disease, and lifestyle changes can be beneficial as well. There are a variety of well-studied alternative medicines that people are now starting to integrate into their lives to help them manage type-2 diabetes.

Chromium

The American College of Nutrition asserts that chromium plays a key role in how the body uses insulin to burn such things like carbohydrates, sugar, proteins, and fats. Because chromium is an insulin-enhancing mineral, it can be very helpful in controlling some of the symptoms of type-2 diabetes. Some foods with chromium are raw onions, romaine lettuce, and ripe tomatoes. Chromium can also be purchased as a supplement.

Cinnamon

In his study at the University in Peshawar, researcher Alam Khan, PhD states that cinnamon can help glucose metabolism and the overall condition of diabetes. The reason is that one of the compounds in cinnamon, hydroxychalcone, can lower blood glucose levels, along with low-density lipoprotein (LDL) cholesterol, and triglycerides. Cinnamon can be purchased in supplemental form at any health food store.

Berberine

In a clinical trial published in Metabolism, with people diagnosed type 2 diabetes and were randomly divided into groups and assigned to take metformin (Glucophage) or berberine. Improvements were noted the very first week, and at the study’s conclusion, the average blood sugar and hemoglobin A1C levels significantly decreased in both groups. Remarkably, berberine helped fight diabetes every bit as effectively as metformin. The researchers concluded that the two had “identical effect in the regulation of glucose metabolism.” A personal note, I have been using Bererine for about four months and my morning sugars have dropped 15- 20 number and A1C dropped a few.

Glucomannan

Glucomannan (amorphophallus konjac) is a natural dietary fiber that comes from the konjac root. It slows the stomach from emptying, which, in turn, can cause a more gradual absorption of sugar. Because it slows down the absorption of sugar and cholesterol in the stomach, it can help control sugar levels in diabetes. The additional bonus to this is it can reduce cholesterol levels which, according to American Diabetes Association, is an aid in treating type-2 diabetes.

Ginseng

A study at the University of Toronto has discovered that American as well as Korean ginseng can reduce blood glucose levels in people who have type-2 diabetes. Researchers believe that ginseng lowers the glycemic response after carbohydrate consumption if taken 40 minutes before eating carbohydrates.

Bitter Melon

A study that appeared in this year in the Journal of Chemistry and Biology, shows a great deal of promise for bitter melon, a fruit found in Asian stores. The research showed that bitter melon can activate a certain enzyme that helps regulate metabolism by transporting glucose into the cells.