Possibilities Through Difficult Times

I was telling a client recently about possibilities through difficult times. My client liked the story so much they asked me to post the story. I tell this story often when I am speaking in public or I am at events. I tell it not because I feel sorry for myself rather I am empowered by the events that convinced me that there is always possibilities through difficult times.

It was Thanksgiving 2015. I had just had double foot surgery and it was a few days after Thanksgiving when our landlords who were close friends came to our door and proceeded to tell us they wanted us to move out from the place we have lived for the past 6 years. We were never late for rent and paid often 6 months in advance. 

We were needless to say devastated that close friends, would kick us out over the holidays and while laid up so their new friends could move in. We were angry, hurt and frightened. My partner just recently completed radiation and we had no money as we had to pay for many medical bills. There was no talking to them and we had no choice but over the holidays be prepared to look for a place and move.

We qualified for a home loan, and was able to purchase a home on Christmas Eve. Not just a house, but a beautiful home well taken care of and everything we wanted. One that was big and light and all in working order. It was a huge step from where we were living. Our community pitched in and raised thousands of dollars to help us with some of the costs and got together to helped us pack and move. Some even pitched in for the movers and plenty people were there to help this all happen.

It has been about 8 months since we were kicked out and in my 58 years of life, I do not think I have ever been so happy in a home. We have friendly neighbors, our household appliances work, we stay warm in the winter, we have a beautiful yard and all of our friends say they love coming to visit us now. Because I work at home, my business picked up and our mortgage was cheaper than the rent we were paying out so we were able to catch up on medical bills.

We sit each day on our wonderful porch and thank the universe for giving us such a warm and wonderful home in a kind neighborhood. What I learned from this was even in the most difficult times, we discovered the possibilities. Had the landlords not kicked us out over the Thanksgiving weekend, our community would not have found a cause to reach out, we would be stuck in unfavorable living conditions and we would never be this happy in our life. It was z ripple effect of happiness and possibilities for many.

It is true that life deals everyone difficult times and working hard and cultivating positive emotions on a daily basis helps people cope. When we look back at this difficult time, it strengthened our spirituality, gave us new friends, we learned to appreciate life much more, and we gained a great deal of strength. We kept a daily gratitude list, we meditated more, and we learned that it is these difficult times that give us so many gifts.

Next time something horrible happens always know there is a flip side.  I love to tell this story because it turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to us. It is a good reminder to share with people that you too can overcome anything. For great freedom of anxiety when bad things happen, remember that there is always possibilities through difficult times. 

Minute Meditation for Mental Health

Welcome to today's blog.  One thing I try to tell people is that even if you meditate everyday just for a minute or two, after eight weeks, there can be a shift in the way you feel. A study from Harvard researchers at Massachusetts General Hospital can back up my statement as they have found that meditating for only 8 weeks actually significantly changed the brain’s grey matter. So what that means is that meditation has wonderful evidence of improving memory, empathy, sense of self, and stress relief.

Science seems to constantly be validating the claims about meditation being good for mental health especially for depression, anxiety, PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), and ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder). please do not take my word, there are over 600 research studies meditation.

Meditation does not mean you need to sit with your knees crossed and say OM. You can sit in a chair, lay on your bed and I have even meditated standing in a long line. The practice involves sitting comfortably, (sometimes standing) focusing on your breathing, and bringing your mind’s attention to the now without drifting into what is going on or the past or future.

Sometimes to stay focused I say mantra's such as "right here right now" or " I am love and light". If things wonder in my mind, I do not freak out, I just gently try to push it out using my mantra and focusing on counting my breath. Counting helps me stay focused. So if you want to try this exercise for a minute a day, it would be a great start to start your path into feeling mentally healthy naturally.

Find a place to sit or lay comfortably. Sit straight so your lungs can get deep breaths in.  Either close your eyes or look down.

Breathe in for 6 seconds

Hold your breath for 6 seconds

Release for 6 seconds

Hold for 6 seconds

Breathe in for 6 seconds

Hold your breath for 6 seconds

Release for 6 seconds

Hold for 6 seconds

Practice this for one minute several times a day.

What is Holistic Mental Health Care?

The first time I wondered about holistic mental health I was sent to a naturopath doctor who wanted to do hundreds of dollars of testing on me. It would cost me a fortune. They first wanted a long three hour session for about 350.00. I had depression, Part of my depression at the time was caused by financial distress. I was in college and just wanted to get through it.   They also said be prepared to have their testing and they were going to give me “their” products to buy. All in all it would have costed me over 800.00 -1,000.00 just for a visit. Truth is, any blood work I could get done by my insurance and Amazon and local health food stores have great prices on supplements. So why would I pay that much? That is not holistic mental health.

One of the reasons I got into the field was to make it affordable to people. Holistic mental health care stands for treating people outside the realm of traditional care. When I was working as a clinician, my first task was to assess people and then send them to a psychiatrist for medication. It is pretty much the standard. Grieving? Get put on drugs. Going through a divorce? Drugs will take care of that. Feeling insecure and not lots of self-esteem? Apparently there are drugs for that as well. Depressed? Seems like the ONLY option for that is a series of drugs. None of this is true.

I cannot say in my years of working mainstream counseling that pills helped grief, divorces, anger or mild to moderate depression. What I found really worked was spending time focused on health and wellbeing and look at thing such as diet, lifestyle habits, supplements, sleep, and exercise. The key factor here was spending time with the person. Listening, being in the person’s energy, looking for solutions not just ways to mask their symptoms, which is what medication does.

Holistic mental health understands that traditional medicine or psychology has a limited understanding and knowledge about the role of body chemistry in mental health and the impact of diet, nutrition, and chemicals in the environment on the brain. Mental health is extremely affected by issues such as food allergies, nutritional deficiencies, hormonal imbalances, hypoglycemia- low blood sugar, and thyroid.

Traditional medicine also overlooks the powerful roles that spirituality plays on the emotional body and aspect of soul, our connection to spirit should be taken into consideration in the process of healing. A good sense of spirituality promotes healthy self-esteem, better motivation, and helps people come to terms with powerful inner experiences. Medical studies indicate that spiritual people exhibit fewer self-destructive behaviors such as drugs, alcohol, gambling and risk taking behaviors. 

Addressing mental health issues holistically means being able to look at the system as a whole. Clients have an array of options in holistic mental health and are empowered with the fact that they have a choice in their treatment option. The client as well as the holistic health care provider work together as a team to make sure the body the mind and the spirit is being treated as a whole.

Laughter Heals

A funny thing happened to me on the way out of 2016; I laughed. It has been a difficult year for many people and we have to remember Plato’s remark, "Even the Gods love jokes." People underestimate the power of laughter. The physical effects of laughter on the body include increased breathing, increased oxygen use, short-term changes in hormones and certain neurotransmitters, and increased heart rate.

Laughter can be a powerful antidote to depression and anxiety – without a prescription and without side effects. Laughter relieves tension, improves our sense of well-being, serves as an outlet for anger and provides a healthy escape from reality.

William Fry, M.D., professor of psychiatry at Stanford University Medical School and expert on health and laughter, reports the average kindergarten student laughs 300 times a day. Yet, adults average just 17 laughs a day. Why the difference? Are we too uptight, too tense? Do we take life too seriously? Isn’t it time we learned how to relax? We don’t stop laughing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop laughing. So, if we want to fly like the angels and share in their happiness, we’ll have to follow their example and take ourselves lightly.

Did you know that laughter strengthens the immune system, lowers blood pressure, triggers the release of endorphin's which give you a sense of well-being, reduces stress and anxiety because it naturally relaxes you? Keep in mind humor isn’t about merely telling jokes; it’s the way we view the world. We can be sincere about life without taking it so seriously. We can laugh about our mistakes and pain. So lighten up! You need to laugh more. Look for the humor in your everyday problems. You can worry yourself sick, or laugh till you wee yourself.

This is Tyler Woods laughing in peace.