I have run a grief group for over 16 years and I am forever
getting people asking me if grief should be medicated. What a question. Grief
is a journey not a Prozac deficiency. There has been much discussion among
mental health professionals about the use of medication in the management of
acute, normal grief. With the arrival of the new “improved” DSM5, grief is now
going to be considered a mental health issue. So if you grieve the loss of a
loved one, mental health experts may put on your medical records you have a
mental health issue and are being treated for it.
I recall a friend of mine who grieved the loss of one of her
parents. When it came time to getting a new job and new medical insurance, she
was turned down for the medical insurance because her grief and medication she
was on, was listed as a pre-existing condition. She was unable to not only get
the medical insurance, the medication she was one, did not make her grief go
away. She had to do what most people have to do when someone dies; grieve.
Grief is a journey, it is not a pathology. Grief is natural and
normal. It is part of life. In fact, if people do not grieve over the loss of a
very close loved one, I would think something is wrong with them. Grief is
natural and it means you will wake up at 2:00am and not be able to sleep, and
you will cry over spilled milk. Grief will make you forget your best friend’s
name, and forget where you are going in your own house. That is grief. It is
normal!
Grief is not a mental illness that requires harmful and in some
cases addictive medications. It is sadness. It leaves a void in your heart, in
your soul. This void cannot be healed with medication. It is important to know
that if you medicate grief, you will still eventually have to deal with it once
you decide to get off the medication, if you are not hooked on it already, or
if they have not added even more medication. Here is the problem, you see
anti-depressants take a long time to work; they rarely relieve normal grief
symptoms. By the time these dangerous medication start to work, you might have
discovered the value of the journey into grief.
Grief is a journey that we must travel. It reminds us that we lost
someone we loved. It means we loved. It reminds us that our path in life is
never is straight forward. It is a journey that teaches us how to live without
someone. It is a journey that feels like a roller coaster ride. One minute we
are okay, and the next minute we are plummeting downward sliding to an abyss
wondering if we will ever come out, and the next minute, laughing at a joke
someone told that isn’t even funny. Bottom line, grief is a normal part of
living and feeling.
The new DSM would have us medicate grief. At least that is what
the task force, who has financial ties with the pharmaceutical companies say.
The DSM 5 would have you believe it is a treatable mental health condition. I
cannot think of a more inhumane treatment for grief. To deprive people of the
important participation in their grief is a just wrong. In fact, I would go as
far as saying it is abusive.
If you are having problems with your grief, consult a natural
mental health care counselor, talk through it. You can journal about your grief
and put it on paper. There are many ways you can travel the path of grief,
however, since you are not mentally ill, and grief is not a pathology, rather a
natural emotion, it is VITAL that you find natural ways to cope with your grief
and walk into your journey.
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